Knowing Her Identity

At church this morning a neighbor asked The Queen if she was, "fibbing." (I didn't actually catch what the question was referring to -- probably something about her nail polish which she was excitedly telling EVERYONE about).

The Queen misunderstood the question and replied, " I not Fibbing, I Ainsley! A-I-N-S-L-E-Y, that's Ainsley"

Trees

The Boy asked about trees this morning, wondering why we like to have them around. Between bites of his breakfast (literally, as he had to take a bite before we would give him each example) we told him how trees provide clean air, shade, and beauty. We then started talking about the different animals that live in trees, such as squirrels and birds. Wanting to contribute, The Queen excitedly added 'monkeys' to the list as she went up the stairs.

Neesha: Fruit also grows on trees.
The Boy: Like what?
Neesha: Apples and oranges.
Mark: And bananas.
The Boy: And peaches?
The Queen (hollering from upstairs): And popcorn!

Time for the popcorn blossoms!

She's Got Talent

Junebug's got a bit of a cold and was struggling to breathe through her nose. After listening for a while, The Queen excitedly remarked, "Mommy, she knows how to snore!"

Hope of Israel, indeed

While playing swords with his friends, The Boy burst into the room brandishing his mighty weapon, a 2.5' piece of orange foam, and proclaiming...

The Boy: I have the sword of truth and right! I have the sword of truth and right!

Neesha stared at him blankly for a minute. The Boy wasn't dissuaded in the least and proceeded to sing...

The Boy: Sound the war cry, "Watch and pray!" Vanquish ev'ry foe today!

He's particularly keen on the "vanquish every foe" part.

mw

This week's theological crisis

It's Friday night. Neesha is kneading pizza dough for dinner while I finish reviewing some contracts for work. The Boy and The Queen are upstairs playing in their bedrooms which they are supposed to be cleaning. There is a loud crash and The Queen begins to wail. Neesha and I pause for a moment to see if the sound will go away on its own. When it doesn't, I go up to check for blood.

In my best concerned-father voice, which I must say is pretty good,...

Me: What happened?
The Queen (running into my arms while wailing): Jesus bumped me on the head!

* after a long, faith-promoting pause*

Me: What was that?

She points to a picture of The Savior that typically sits on her dresser, now laying on the floor.

The Queen: Jesus bumped me on the head!
Me: Oh, good. No worries, then.

mw

Colorful Perfection

I dressed Junebug in a lot of pink yesterday and started singing, "The Pink of Perfection" from Disney's Summer Magic. A few moments later, The Boy commented, "Mom, your pants have a lot of teal in them. You are the teal of perfection!"

It's Normal

The Queen came up to me this morning, quite distressed.

The Queen: "Mom, I have those on my hands!"
Me: "You have what on your hands?"
The Queen: (very weepy) "Those!" (indicating the lines on the palms of her hands)
Me: "Honey, those are normal."
The Queen: (still very weepy) "Mom, I have normal on my hands."

Pickle Belly

I was washing the baby the other day when The Queen decided to join me. She said something about the baby's belly...


Me: You want to tickle her belly?
The Queen: No! She have a pickle in her belly!

The umbilical cord stump is still attached and The Queen thinks it looks like a pickle.

The Boy starts Iddy-biddy Ball tomorrow. Over the next three weeks he'll go to Smoot Park and learn to play basketball, soccer, and baseball (t-ball, technically).

Me: Boppa used to play a lot of baseball. He was very good at it.
The Boy: Did you play baseball?
Me: I did, though I was never as good as Boppa.
The Boy: Did he hit a home run every time?!
Me: Well, no one can hit a home run every time, but Boppa sure hit a lot of home runs.
The Boy: Did you ever hit a home run?
Me: Not very many.
The Boy: How many?
Me: Maybe a dozen my last season.

**Long pause. Then, in a tone that let me know I didn't know what I was talking about (I'm growing accustomed to that tone)**

The Boy: A dozen is a full box of doughnuts.

That's my boy.

mw

Who You Gonna Call?

This morning the kids were watching their daily dose of PBS while I took a shower. At one point, the sound got screwed up. While the background noise and music played, you couldn't hear the voices of the characters. I used every trick in my book (meaning I turned the TV on and off, changed the channel and asked Mark). I discovered that other channels had sound and so decided that it must be the station. I explained the situation to The Boy. He insisted that I fix it and when I told him I didn't even know who to call to come fix it he told me, "Well, the Transformers are on Cybertron."

Of course, why didn't I think of that?

Later, Mark came down and The Boy filled him in. Mark reaffirmed that there wasn't anything we could do, to which he replied, "Well, Optimus Prime could fix it."

Let's get this guy over here!

Poor Mommy

I took the kids to the library for story time and to check out new books yesterday. The Boy has a new fascination with Transformers and asked the librarian if she had a Transformers book. She hit the jackpot with an over-sized, 30 page documentation of one of the movies. He was thrilled. As we waited for our turn to check out our books, we had the following conversation:

The Boy: "Mommy, how much do you like Transformers?"
Me: "Not as much as you, sweetheart."
The Boy: "No, Mommy, how much?"
Me: (realizing that he wanted a quantitative answer) "One."
The Boy: (a shocked and disbelieving look, then a pitying look) "That's not very much."

A Preschool Education

I have the opportunity of helping out in The Boy's preschool class once a month. Last Thursday was my turn and during a discussion of the Star Spangled Banner, we came to the point of, "the twilight's last gleaming."

Teacher Lisa: "Does anyone know what the word, 'twilight,' means"?
Abby R.: (quite excitedly) "It's a big mommy's movie!"

I guess I'm not a big mommy, as I haven't seen it. Should I be worried that vampires and werewolves have made it into my son's formal education?

Name That Tune

There's a right way to live and be happy;
It is choosing the right every day.
I am learning the teachings of Jesus;
They will help me and show me the way.


Choose the right way
and be happy.
I must always choose the right.

-Primary Children's Songbook

The Boy has started to love Primary (it only took 6 months). We play the Primary songs on Sunday mornings before church and he often likes to sing along...

"Choose the right way
and the left way"

It only makes sense.

...she also doesn't kill The Boy

Neesha is a wonderful mother. This is manifest every day in many different ways. Whenever The Boy has a peanut butter sandwich for lunch, which is basically every day, he'll ask for it to be cut into a specific shape. It started out as rectangles, triangles, and squares. Those were easy. One afternoon he asked for a diamond. This is harder than it sounds since you have to make sure it is presented on the plate correctly, otherwise it looks a lot like a square. Then, last month, he went through the alphabet, which was a bit more of a challenge.

Friday afternoon he asked for a car. Neesha thought about, then nodded and went to work.

Upon looking at the finished, car-shaped sandwich...

The Boy: Is that the best you can do?

mw

His toughness is oft undercut

I had a helper this afternoon while working on some different projects around the house.

The Boy: What are we doing, Daddy?
Me: We're working on The Lady's windows.
The Boy: Are we workers?
Me: We are.
The Boy: Why are we workers?
Me: Because that's what we do on Saturday.
The Boy: Are we tough?
Me: Yeah, I'd say we're pretty tough.
The Boy: We're tough workers!

* pause *

The Boy: I need Blankie and Teddy Bear.

mw

Indoor plumbing

Last April I took the kids to a park to enjoy the warming weather. The Boy was still pretty new to potty training and needed to go. This particular park has no bathrooms so I asked if he could wait until we got home. His desperate look told me he was about to burst. There was no one else in the park, I allowed him to use a tree. It obviously had quite an impression as, seven months later, I have the following conversation with him...

The Boy: When I get big enough I will have my own house.
Me: Yep, when you are big enough you can have your own house.
The Boy: And my house won't have ANY pottys!
Me: What will you do if you have to go potty?

* a thougtful pause*

The Boy: I will have one tree!

"Higga, Higga" (and other funny Caleb things)

Thought I'd share some of Caleb's funnier moments from the last month.

Whenever Caleb sees (or hears) a diesel truck, "Mommy, that truck says 'higga higga.'"


Caleb: Mommy, I playing wif my scunruction site.
Me: Caleb, it's con - struc - tion.
Caleb: No, mommy, scun - ruc - tion

...I hope the scunruction (construction) trucks (that say, "higga higga") don't ever get into an axkident (accident).


This is what Caleb wound up wearing to the store on Friday.

Trust me, it really wasn't worth the battle.

Cuddles

Part of Caleb's routine for bed includes "cuddles." Mark generally gets to go first while I nurse Ainsley and put her down to sleep, then I go in for my turn.

Me: "Can I get some Caleb cuddles?"
Caleb: "Sure!"

*a moments pause*

Caleb: "After Caleb cuddles, can I get some Mommy cuddles?"

Can't turn that down!

Buggle Gum, Buggle Gum

Caleb chose to read "Buggle Gum, Buggle Gum" (Bubble Gum, Bubble Gum, by Lisa Wheeler) before his nap yesterday. It starts out like this,

"Bubble gum, Bubble gum
Chewy - gooey bubble gum
Icky - sticky bubble gum
melting in the road.

Along comes a toad.
A fine, fat toad.
A fine, fat, wild - SPLAT - wart-backed toad.

Ew! Yuck! The toad got stuck!

Sticky toad, sticky toad,
Bumpy-icky-sticky toad,
Lumpy, grumpy, sticky toad
Sitting in the goo.

Along comes a shrew...a goose...a bee...a crow...

(and) a truck...
A big, blue truck,
A big, blue
- COMIN' THROUGH!-
Honk-Honk truck!"

In order to avoid being hit by this truck, the animals chew the gum and blow a big bubble that,

"Floats them toward the sky as the truck zooms by"

Caleb's comment?

"It's a good thing they moved the buggle gum so the truck didn't get stuck!"

Yes indeed.

Upon further consideration...

Caleb and I were dancing tonight. Our dance routine typically consists of me holding him and jumping up and down (more on that later). Tonight, Caleb decided to try sucking this thumb while we danced to Bon Jovi.

Me: Don't bite your thumb...and don't put beans up your nose.

*a full minute of silence goes by*

Caleb: Okay. I won't.
Me: What?
Caleb: I won't put beans up my nose.
Me: Oh, good. Good to hear.

*another minute of silence goes by*

Caleb: The Lorax has beans up his nose.
Me: What?

The line is, "and it sounds as if [The Lorax] had smallish bees up his nose."

mw