Only his not-quite-three-year-old cuteness saves him

While getting ready to go to the Ute basketball game this afternoon:

Me: Caleb, grab your shoes.
The Boy: blah, blah, blah, blah...
Me: Caleb, we need to put on your shoes.
The Boy: blah, blah, blah, blah...
Me: Your shoes, son. So we can go to the game.
The Boy: blah, blah, blah, blah...
Me: Caleb...
The Boy: Lady, I don't got no socks.

mw

For those who have lost their manual...

While eating his oatmeal...

Caleb: Yawns and stretches are for naps and nuh-night. First you yawn, and then you stretch. Yep. That's what you do with yawns and stretches.

Review: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

How anyone ever thought there was more than one movie worth of material to The Mummy concept, I'll never know. And yet, last Friday, Neesha and I watched The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. On the other hand, the movie grossed $200 million, which is more than I make in a year, so what do I know?

The film begins in 1946, 13 years after The Mummy Returns. The plot is familiar. There's an ancient curse, a counter-curse, a sarcophagus holding secrets, an evil Emperor frozen in time with his terracotta army, and a snake-wrapped diamond that will awaken said Emperor to overrun and oppress the world. I'm making an assumption on the last statement. The reason the Emperor was considered a plague worthy to be destroyed by Rick O'Connell was never stated all that clearly, but tyrannical dominion is a common ploy.

On a related note, if Rick O'Connell dies halfway through the second movie and we're left with the High Priest Imhotep, The Scorpion King, and The Dragon Emperor, all invincible megalomaniacs trying to control the world, who wins?

The film seems to target undemanding pre-teens, which makes sense as it also seems to have been written and directed by one. Everything is overplayed. From spending too long establishing themes and background (twenty five minute exploring how the O'Connells were bored in Oxfordshire) to lines whose poor delivery is only exceeded by the writing ('You guys are like Mummy magnets'), to a lack of attention to period detail (the Chinese paramilitary using AK-47s), almost every element of the movie grates. Even the endless stream of special effects and massive action sequences are diluted and uninvolved to the point where, when Rick O'Connell finally kills the Dragon Emperor (sorry for the spoiler), you're left to wonder if you even care. Director Rob Cohen seems to be unaware of the film's tone, being comedic one minute and dramatic the next with no effort at creating a comfortable juxtaposition.

Unfortunately, The Mummy: Rise of the Aztec is due for release sometime in 2010. I assume this has something to do with Jonathan's final comment about going someplace where there are no mummies. Namely, Peru.

But, wait, the Aztecs were...and the Incas...forget it. The sad thing is that I know I'll rent that one, too.

Rating:

• Buy it now
• Worth $10 at Costco
• Happy we rented it, but also happy we only rented it
  
• No good at any price
• That numb feeling at the top of your head? That's your cerebral cortex closing up shop

m&n

Good news...caveat emptor

Thanks to my multiple email accounts, I now know how to get cheap prescriptions, make myself more attractive to others, get a low monthly payment for no money down, buy lottery tickets online, buy discounted OEM software, get an exquisite replica watch, look younger, feel younger, be younger, claim my cash, become fit and happy again (because I'm not now), meet easy women, make my friends envy me, get cheap perfume and cologne (I'm sure they meant inexpensive), enjoy my life now (I've been postponing enjoyment for so long...), and enlarge my breasts naturally. Also, my loan has been approved AND I’m a winner!

Gotta run. I’m closing a deal that will net me 50% of $24.5 million and all I have to do is help a Congolese bank executive get the money out of his country by giving him my bank account number. This should make up for when I gave my credit card information to that guy on the phone. Both times (they always sound so legitimate!).

I LOVE the internet.

mw

"G" or "g"

Did you notice that Google changed their favicon (that little icon that shows up in your address bar) again? A few months back it went from a big “G” outlined by a blue square to a little “g” on a white field. Now, it is a little, white "g" on a multi-colored field. I wonder if this is Google's attempt at social commentary?

mw