Why It's Hard to Go to Work in the Morning

I have a good job. I really do. I enjoy what I do and I never go to bed or wake up dreading the prospect of going to my office. However, some mornings are harder then others.

Caleb: Daddy play cars?
Neesha: Can Mommy play? Daddy has to go to work.

*reflective pause*

Caleb: Daddy play cars?
Neesha: Sorry, Honey. Daddy has to go to work, today. Tomorrow, too. But after that we get him for two full days!
Caleb: Cool.

mw

Tuesday: guy night

Tuesday nights are Neesha's nights out. Tuesday nights are the Guys' nights in. Most every Tuesday, Neesha goes out with the Relief Society presidency to visit sisters in the ward, and twice a month they have a meeting afterward to talk about the things that warrant talking about. These same nights I get The Boy all to myself and we share some genuine, high quality, unadulterated, one-on-one Man Time. I think I get the better end of the deal.

Tonight we puttered. I put some new glass shades on the vanity lighting in the master bath and fixed a couple of dings in the walls.The Boy , meanwhile, fixed the toilet, the shower, the shower curtain, and a bottle of lotion. Impressively, he did it all with the same tool: a stubby, no. 2 phillips screwdriver. The kid is a natural DIYer.

Afterward, we built towers with his over-sized blocks while listening to the sort of music reserved for when Mommy is not in the house. I showed him the importance of alternating the seams in your blocks as you build upward and of having a wide base for a low center of gravity. He then very patiently showed me why my his method of building was preferable, in that his towers were easier to knock down than mine and why else would you build a tower in the first place?

The night ended exactly as all such nights should. We curled up in the rocking chair with Teddy Bear, a blanket, and a good book (The Little Mouse, the Red, Ripe Strawberry, and the Big, Hungry Bear). The Boy was asleep before the mouse disguised the strawberry with a pair of glasses.

mw

You can tell he doesn't quite know what it means

Saturday's chores

I had some helpers with the vacuuming on Saturday morning.



mw

My Internship as an Evil Overlord Has Begun

I got a new monitor at work, today. A Dell UltraSharp 2007FP. It's a 20" LCD with high resolution. A thin, black bezel (I don't know what a bezel is, either, but that is what the review says) frames the screen, and a slim neck extends from the Y-shaped base. In addition to being able to adjust five inches up or down, the neck can swivel horizontally 45 degrees to the left and right, 20 degrees back, and 5 degrees to the front. The result is the first monitor in my adult life that I don't have to hunch over to see.

All this viewing real estate has generated some interesting side effects. I now have irresistible urges to cackle, "BWAAAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" when I'm asked a question and I find myself monologuing at the slightest provocation. On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know of any obscure, defunct countries in need of a tyrannical dictator? Canada, perhaps?

mw

...In Which the Lovely and Talented Wife Accepts Her Limitations

Neesha: That's what I would do if it were up to me. But, you know...I'm not God.

mw

It wouldn't be funny if he wasn't two

Me: What color is it?
Caleb: White. *very well pronounced*
Me: That was pretty good. Can you say 'white' again?
Caleb: White again.

mw

Black is This Year's Pink

There is a small computer shop on 500 South in Bountiful. Coming home from work the other night, I noticed a sign in the window advertising a watch with a flash drive attached. It reminded me of a gift Dad received from one of his vendors: a pen with a flash drive in it. At first glance, it seems like a semi-logical idea. Right up to the point, that is, that you want to write something down while your pen is protruding from the front of a computer, at which point you need another pen. In the end, all you have is a low-capacity flash drive on top of a pen that doesn't work too well to begin with. It is also my guess, though I don't know for sure, that the designer of said pen/flash drive has never used a Dell desktop. Then again, I suppose most Dell USB ports are decorative, anyway.

It seems to me that flash drives are starting to fill the same role, technologically speaking, that calculators once held. The first computers that could perform basic, arithmetic functions were huge - literally filling rooms. Somewhere over the decades we were able to figure out how to put this same functionality in a minute chip that could be installed in almost any electronic device. Through the late-80s we seemed so giddy about our technological accomplishment that we slapped that $0.10 chip into everything we could think of. Gone were the days of enduring such laborious exercises as addition and subtraction and remembering to carry the remainder. It was advancement. It was progress. It was primeval man, conquering the Euclidean elements. It was a monument to man's spirit of achievement. A modern day Tower of Babel that could add, subtract, multiply, and divide any number smaller than six figures.

It was lame. When was the last time you bought a microwave because it had a calculator? Or a cell phone, for that matter? Even the calculator watches, which were right up there with cauliflower bangs, Hammer pants, and OP t-shirts when I was a kid, were a let down once you tried to use them since it was impossible to press less than three buttons at a time with anything bigger than a toothpick. My guess is that the only time most people consider a product's ability to perform basic, or even advanced, calculations is when they are purchasing (wait for it) a calculator. So it is with flash drives.

I would guess the only reason we haven't seen a pairing of these two products (calculators and flash drives) is that no one is certain whether it would be a calculator with an attached flash drive, or a flash drive with a calculator.

mw

I'm a Man of Many Skills

I made a new friend in the mens room today. I was washing my hands when an older, and larger, gentleman came in to use one of the stalls. Unfortunately, the door to the only one able to accommodate his girth was locked. Apparently, whoever had used it last had locked it on their way out. The things we do for fun.

Me: Well, I'm kind of tall. Let me see what I can do.

*I reach over the stall door and undo the latch*

Richard: Wow. That's impressive. How tall are you?
Me: About 6'8".
Richard: You play ball?
Me: Nope. I unlock bathroom-stalls.

mw

The Plurality of Compound Words and Phrases

Yesterday during Sunday dinner the question came up of how to conjugate the plural of the term, Book of Mormon. The question was, would it be Book of Mormons, or Books of Mormon. I did some research to support my position (Books of Mormon). I can't imagine this would be interesting to anyone else, but I'm kind of weird this way so I'm posting it anyway..

The answer centers on the fact that it is incorrect to call someone, or something, by an adjective or a modifier. Fowler's Modern English Usage explains that compound words and phrases "ordinarily form their plurals logically, by attaching the -s to the noun element in them." Accordingly, as the phrase, of Mormon, modifies the noun, Book, you have Books of Mormon. Even though the complete term would be considered the subject or an object of a sentence (hence the argument for Book of Mormons), of Mormon modifies the, or explains what type of, book you're talking about. Since it retains its status as an adjective, it derives its plural nature from the noun it is dependent on. For the same reason, you also have attorneys general, solicitors general, surgeons general, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, etc.

In any event, Adam still still came up with the best answer of the night. Copies of the Book of Mormon.

mw

Tres hombres y amigos

There is a picture of Mike, Dad and me in the middle of a dirt road with the bikes. I don't recall where it was taken. Once upon a time I seem to recall that it had the caption, "tres hombres y amigos," though I guess I got that one wrong.

Saturday was a good day. Mike and Dad came down to help with some projects around the house. The back door leading from our fenced patio needed some repair work, I needed to replace our water softener, and Neesha wanted to put some trim up in the bathroom. We accomplished each of these tasks with a minimal amount of blood and had a good time doing it. The door now works better than when the HOA first installed it, our water is soft again, and the industrial motif (Simon's phrase) of our master bath has been lessened.

Highlights of the day:

• My efforts throughout the week to ensure we didn't have to make any trips while we were working only served to keep the number of trips down to three. However, we took each trip in a different vehicle, so at least the neighbors didn't realize what was going on.
• Additional materials only ran about $60.
  
• We only spent $25 on the wrong stuff.
• Dad bought us lunch at Cafe Rio.
• Dad almost buried his truck in a 20' snowbank in the middle of the Lowe's parking lot (you had to be there).
• Caleb learned how to cut copper piping.
• Mike came to understand why I shop at Lowe's and not ACE, lucky sweatshirt notwithstanding.
  
• I was able to spend the day working alongside my brother and my father again.
• Neesha was happy.
  

I've included the original "tres hombres y amigos" picture, along with two others in the same vein.


mw

Happy Groundhog Day

I realized tonight that we don't pay as much attention to Groundhog Day as we probably should. Too often, Punxsutawney Phil is the red-headed-step-child stuck between MLK, Jr. Day and Presidents Day. I am grateful to Talena and Adam for sharing their holiday spirit with us this evening by dropping off the cupcakes pictured below. They truly reminded us of the reason for the season.



The second image is a picture of Punxsutawney Phil, himself. Contrary to appearances, he is, in fact, a groundhog, and not a badger as some would claim.

If you are interested, Phil ('Punx' to his friends) did see his shadow this morning, meaning we should expect another six weeks of winter; or a month and a half, whichever comes first.

m & n

Counting before bedtime

Caleb: Twenty seven.
Me: Twenty seven.
Caleb: Twenty eight.
Me: Twenty eight.
Caleb: Twenty nine.
Me: Twenty nine.
Caleb: Twenty ten.
Me: Twen...wait, what?

mw

In Response to Kath's Question...

Lorem Ipsum is dummy text. The publishing and the graphic design industries use it as a placeholder to focus attention on the visual layout of a document. The passage approximates a typical distribution of letters in English, which allows an editor to review the layout of a page without being distracted by readable content (see example). While creating a more accurate appearance than using ‘text goes here, text goes here.’

Since I knew you’d be interested, I found the standard lorem ipsum passage. It's a series of phrases pulled from Cicero’s de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum (The Extremes of Good and Evil). The book, on the theory of ethics and popular during the Renaissance, was written about 45 BC, and the lorem ipsum passage itself has been relatively unchanged since 1500.

“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”

The English translation: “Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?”

mw

In Response to Brandy's Question...

KMEQ Basketball is an abbreviation for Kimball Mill Elder's Quorum Basketball. I'd give you a roster, except that changes just about every week except for a few players. This is the fourth year I've played for this team, and of the original 12 players or so there are only four of us left. We won the Stake championship and went fairly deep into region the three previous years, though this year that feat may be a bit more of a challenge.

mw

President Hinckley

The viewing for President Gordon B. Hinckley started last night at the Conference Center and will continue through tonight. The funeral will be held tomorrow at the same venue at 11:00 am. I doubt that we'll make it to either event, though I find that my thoughts keep straying in that direction this morning.

Each conference, I found myself grateful for his constant message of encouragement and hope. By asking us to be a little kinder, just a bit more faithful than we had been, he acknowledged our efforts while not comprising on the standard we should be setting. After living his own council for 97 years, he was living testimony that "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." His frequent council to fathers, husbands, and priesthood holders reinforced the example Dad set as I was growing up and helped to direct my efforts in my own home. He served as an Apostle since 1961. He spent the past 13 years as President of the Church, and oversaw one of the great periods of expansion in our history. For all he accomplished during this time, he always served with a humility and a gratitude that has been an example to me in my callings. Though we never met, and he certainly never heard mention of my name, I viewed him as a friend and a councilor while sustaining him as a prophet, seer, and revelator.

What I have learned with the passing of each prophet is that Jesus Christ is the head of His Church. He directs its efforts and inspires its leaders in working out the salvation of His children. Of this reality, President Hinckley himself consistently and frequently bore witness. Though the President of the Church has passed away, the priesthood keys of this latter-day work remain with the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and will never again be taken from the earth.

So today, I pay tribute to one of the great leaders and great servants of the Church. At the same time, I give glory to Him whom we all serve and pray that I may honor Him in my life as President Hinckley did in his.

mw